Ocean Healing
Here’s the story of how the ocean helped me to heal…
August of 2022, the feelings were so intense, the loss of hope, the pain, the anxiety, the fear of the unknown and the relentless obsession in the mind.
Where do I go from here?!! When will this all stop.. When will my life be normal again?
Three years into an escalating divorce and no end in sight, feeling heartbreak over so many things.. love, money, what I thought my life would be… It’s like everything needed to be released in order to have any forward momentum. I just struggled with how to get there.. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.
It was confusing because I had so much support, a therapist, al-anon, acupuncture, amongst other things…
I mean, I tried it all. And it all helped to stay afloat, but it wasn’t enough.
What I needed was to get deep into myself, with myself, by myself.
“Take yourself down to the ocean and jump in,” said a friend. “And while you’re there, ask for a message.”
Whatt?!! I thought, the dirty Santa Monica ocean, no way!
Having lived near it for close to 18 years at the time without ever going in, there was nothing that felt less inviting. After all, for years I had taken my kids down to the beach and never went in once, why would I start now?
I was more of a Caribbean ocean girl, I thought, I like it clean, where you can see your feet, no surprises.
This friend suggested the ocean dip, as it was something she started doing a few years back and found it super helpful.
She called this her “dips of courage”, which I love!
I brushed it off, thinking that will never happen.. but something about it lingered in me.
Why was I so afraid of it? Maybe I can push through the fear of it?
You know what they say.. “Nothing changes if nothing changes”, and then there’s the book title that was stuck in my head, ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.
The ocean was calling.
There were countless times I had taken the kids there, been down by the sea for walks, runs, picnics, yet never a thought of going into the sea. Getting my hair wet was a whole other obstacle that I’m happy to be able to laugh at today.
It was definitely time to step out of my comfort zone.
Well on this day it all changes. It was simply calling me and there was no way around it. I had no choice, and if something was going to change, I had to do it differently.
I stood with my feet by the shore line and cried.
No one was around which made it even scarier. It was overcast and pretty cool for an August morning. The water couldn’t have looked more uninviting.
I took some deep breaths, and counted to 3… a few times.
A toe in, my calf… 3 steps forward and 5 steps back…
one more count to 3 and I just plunged myself under a mini wave making sure to get every strand of hair wet!
The whole thing was about 3 minutes with a 2 second plunge. I was out as quickly as I was in!
I immediately felt invigorated, and like something magical swept over me!
What is my message here… I thought? I went back to my car and immediately began to write about my experience and the message I heard…
My first message from the ocean was.. The world is yours!
I’m not sure why but I knew it was true at some level. So I continued with my plunges, and my messages..
And since then everything has changed.
I became a little more brave and a lot more bold. I do believe that day, that first plunge, changed the course of my life.
Here is some of the wisdom I have learned from over the years that the water taught me about navigating life…
To be courageous, to go in even though I couldn’t see the bottom, even though no one was around, even though it was cold.
To be brave, by doing it alone, by being afraid and doing it anyway.
To get right back up, as the waves knock me down and pull me under, I stand right back up with my head held higher than before.
To flow more, watching the waves as they ebb and flow, letting go of thoughts and transactional ways of being that weren’t working for me, watching the tide pull back and then come forward again, as in life, how we retreat and go inward and then are ready to put ourselves out there again, and the understanding that it’s all normal and natural to ebb and flow in that way.
To dance like the waves, to roll with what comes my way, to push myself out of my comfort zone into the water and into new unknown adventures and ways of life.
To care less about what others think, why is she going in the water alone, yes I used to think like that.
To wearing a bathing cap and being horrified at the look of it and then being asked where I got it by other swimmers. Getting my hair wet and not having to have it look perfect all the time.
To trust myself more, there are days when it doesn’t feel right to go in, whether it’s because there are creatures I’ve never seen before on the sand or because it looks dirty or because it just seems to be too rough.
It taught me to have fun and giggle like I did when I was 10.. and that at 56. I can be like that same little girl I was, frolicking in the sea, laughing and in love with life.
…and most importantly to connect deeper to myself, in nature in the natural healing elements of the water.
I hope you try it too… and don’t forget to ask for a message!
With love,
Staci
